Here Comes the Bride

In light of my upcoming article for Glimpse.com on the theme of constantly being proposed marriage, I have decided to delve into what actually would be entailed in a Swazi wedding. Everyone I’ve spoken to concerning the matter has given me a slightly different version of the process, but in keeping with my high research protocol standards, I have just averaged it all out and made up things when I don’t have facts. So here, for all you love birds thinking of a destination wedding, is how to get married in Swaziland:

Step `1: Boy meets girl. They fall in love, they want to get married.

Step 2: Girl visits boy’s home.

Step 3: Boy visits girl’s home.

Step 4: Boy’s family and girl’s family make an agreement that marriage can take place.

Step 5: Boy takes girl home and introduces her to his parents. This happens a few times and on the 3rd or 4th visit, the in-laws will tell the girl she must marry their son.

Step 6: Girl goes to visit the boy’s family one last time. Early in the morning, perhaps at 3am, the boy’s family will knock on the door to wake up the girl. The women of the family will accost the girl about her impending marriage until she cries. At some point during all of this, a goat is killed.

Step 7: Sitfaba—this refers to the process of putting the traditional goat skin on the girl.

Step 8: The boy’s family then takes the girl to the family kraal (place for keeping animals and traditional place for problem solving and important events). Here the family sings songs in siSwati and eats the freshly killed goat. The girl, however, is not permitted to eat.

Step 9: Around 10am the family leaves the kraal to go to endlini kagogo (Grandma’s house).

Step 10: The bride-to-be is painted in red okra, called libovu (not sure on the spelling).

Step 11: Then the girl is sent home and the family sees that she is painted in the red okra. This is a sign that it is time for lobola (dowry, usually pain in cows).
Step 12: Things get a little unclear at this point, but I’m pretty sure something called msimba occurs, which involves a lot of dancing, and if you’re my family, a lot of drunk relatives, although I’m pretty sure traditional Swazi weddings don’t involve booze at all.

Just a word of caution, however: Swazi’s are permitted to marry in the above “traditional” style as well as the “Western” style. The “Western” weddings are the only type of marriage which allow divorce. If you choose to get married with the red okra, you’re stuck forever!